THE MADNESS: CIRCUS Week 3!

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Another creepy clowns photo by me.

Yes, I sucked this week. Life has been getting in the way of just sitting around all day watching movies, but I promise I will go out Hallwoeen week with a bang. (So keep plugging away team for the team championship) I got some favorites in this week, but stillholding off for some of the biggies till next week and Halloween.

Special Bonuses

Nada

Movies

Rob Zombie’s 31
6 points
ATB for homicidal clowns
Rob Zombie always divides people into two extreme camps. I love his style even when I see flaws in his films, but I thought this was a step forward for him from a critical perspective. I don’t really get the 31 thing, other than Rob being obsessed with Halloween.
1:45
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Walking Dead (S6E12, S6E13, S7E1)
3 points
No bonuses
I watched the last two episodes of Season 6 leading into the Season 7 premiere last night (almsot forgot to count those two old ones.) No clowns or carnivals, but that was some fucked up shit. I’d still do Negan though. Sue me.
3:00
4.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Near Dark
2 points
No bonuses
One of my favorite vamp flicks of all time. Love the dark moodiness of it and the sicck humor of that bar scene. Bigelow is so much better at directing than her ex-husband.
1:45
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Lost Boys
3 points
1 for boardwalk
I have never stopped obsessing over Jami Gertz’s gypsy skirt. The two Coreys. Jason Patric. Kiefer Sutherland. And I adore Dianne Wiest. Pure awesome.
1:45
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

30 Days of NIght
2 points
No bonuses
Yeah, I’m on a vampire kick here. This is what vampires should be – scary and ugly as fuck. Even Ethan Hawke is bearable in this,and Ben Foster… oh, how wonderful he is in his small role, as usual.
1:45
4.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Halloween Wars
1 points
Bonus for Sid Haig as guest judge
I was just watching this for fun when I saw Sid was judging. Pretty sure this is his first time on the show? Anyway, those Sugar Psychos seem unstoppable for the final crown.
1:00
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

976-EVIL
2 points
No bonuses
One of my favorite horror films directed by Freddy Krueger and oh-so-80s. Dig that show phone in the beginning sequence. Plus remembering when 900 numbers first came out and were the big thing. Campy and creepy.
1:00
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

American Werewolf in London
2 points
No bonuses
Still also feeling that full moon and into werewolves. How can anyone not love this classic, plus I hold a specil place in my heart for “Nurse Price.” I guess I shoudl consider myself warned to never take stray paitents home with me, LOL.
1:00
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Howling
2 points
No bonuses
I know many would argue AWINL as the best wereowlf movie, but The Howling is my personal favorite. Love the sly humor and the creepy irony of those samn smiley face sticker. Kills me every time.
1:00
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Full Eclipse
2 points
No bonus points
I know, I know.. Mario van Peebles doesn’t exactly scream “quality cinema,” especially for a werewolf movie, but I think this is a nice little sleeper with a great twist on the werewolf legend.
2:00
3.5 out of 5 creepey clowns

The Serpent and the Rainbow
2 points
No bonuses
Now I’m on a voodoo kick. EXCELLENT movie on a very real practive, although the supernatural side embellished. One of my favortie horror movies of all time and soem seriously creepy shit.
2:00
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Believers
2 points
No bonusesMore voodoo, with Martin Sheen and his son coming under attack after his wife is killed in a freak accident. Jimmy Smits has a small role and suffers an especially bad voodoo curse. And let’s not even go into what happens to Sheens new girlfriend. Ick.
2:00
4.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

American Horror Story: Roanoke
1 point
Sarah Paulson, but it’s already in genreNot sure how I feel about this season compared to previous ones. Kathhy Bates is outstanding as always, but the problem with the format is we know the main characters survive, so it takes a lot of suspense out of it. Her name escapes me at the moment, but the actress from 6 Feet Under was stellar this episode, with her backwater, hillbilly human beef jerky. She has a sort of quirky, dtizy quality like Dianne Wiest, but much darker.
1:00
3.5 creepy clowns

Total points: 30

 

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The Madness: Circus Week 2!

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(Photo of creepy clowns at Theatre Bizarre by me)

I think that Friday evening and Saturday off killed my momentum, as I was enjoying the quiet of no TV (and no screaming) and had a hard time getting back in the groove. I also found myself this week wanting to do some non clown horror. I figure it will even out in the end when I would have run out later in The Madness anyway. Hey, it’s Halloween season and I can’t neglect all my other favorite horror movies, right? (Rhetorical question) So here it is: Week 2 is a little weak, but then it was last year for me too as I was doing a temp job all week and couldn’t watch much.

Sorry, I’m a bit late… I created a template for the last two weeks and I swear I am going to keep up a lot better this time so I’m not doing my whole round-up at once.

Special Bonuses

No outside events this week. I’ve been a workaholic recluse. And broke. ūüôĀ

Movies/TV

Sunday

The Devil’s Rejects
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown, and sex with a clown
Okay, Capt Spaulding is in this one as well as HOTC, but he is only wearing the clown makeup this time rather than the whole suit, but we know he does the whole get up and gets angry when people diss clowns, so he clearly identifies as a clown. That’s my argument. This is a homage to retro exploitation horror, with Sherri Moon and Bill Mosely terrorizing two couples and sexually humiliating the women in particular. Otis’ look is considerably tamed down from HOTC, and he’s more like a homicidal Greg Allman. The woman replacing Karen Black sucks and was too over the top. Great music, but I’m a little pissed at Rob Zombie for using “Freebird” at the end, because I always wanted to write a “going out in blaze of glory” scene to that song. Fucker.
1:47
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Creeping Flesh
2 points
No Bonuses
Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee… SIGH. No clowns in this, but this has always been one of my favorite movies with these two. I can’t really pin down why, but I know when I watched it at a young, impressionable age, it scared me. Hence, it has become a favorite “comfort” movie like the horror movie equivalent of mac and cheese.
1:34
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Company of Wolves
2 points
No bonuses
Another clown free movie but one of my favorite dark fariy tales and werewolf movies. I love the strange tics of the actor playing the Big Bad Wolf in this Little Red Riding Hood homage. And the subtle, but very present sexuality in his performance. We need more werewolves likethis, please. ‘Kay thanks.
1:35
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Sunday total: 10 points

 

Monday/Tuesday

AHS: Freakshow Episodes 1 – 13
39 points
ATB for homicidal clown (Twisty then Dandy)
(This is one story/movie broken down into installments so I am treating it as one movie/mini series) I think this is probably my favorite season of AHS of all. While the New Orleans Coven started strong, it degenerated into campy muck and I hated that. I’m sure my obsession with dark carnivals and being the outcast has a lot to do with this as well. The backstories of the characters are heartbreaking and really elevate the whole thing, although Ryan Murphy always finds a way to make a few missteps each season, but this one is as close to flawless as it gets for me. Loved Jessica Lange’s German accent covers of Bowie and Lana. And also loved the great use of that sort of surreal quality Wes Bentley has. I can’t put my finger on it, but he has a sort of dreamy, otherwordly vibe about him. The Tupperware Massacre is hilarious, and a case where the campy factor works well. The Orphans episode is heartbreaking. Someone please give that actress who has played Pepper an Emmy already.
1:00 each = 13:00
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Monday/Tuesday Total: 39 points

 

Wednesday

Splash Area: Night of the Freaks
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown
Maybe it was the porn scene right before it, but for a second there I thought that dude was Ron Jeremy from his profile. Now that’s a fucking horror. These idiots try to get away from someone chasing them by climbing up the tower on playground equipment, like 4 feet off the ground? Just kill them already for terminal stupidity. This is trying to be the raunchy horror version of The Princess Bride with Ron Jeremy telling kids a story. Murderous gang in clown makeup, although there is some little trick or treater running around in full clown costume. Kill someone already you little shit so I can get my ATB for this garbage! Wait, they are practising some clown schtick in a room with amusment park crap, so I am calling them clowns by profession, and Ron Jeremy is referring to them as clowns. ATB!
1:30
1 out of 5 creepy clowns

Jingles the Clown
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown
Welcome to the Crackers and Jingles Show? That just screams homicidal clown. Hey wait, “Tommy Brunswick” sounds familiar. And so is John Anton… I worked with some of these people when I did stills photography for Lee Martin’s The Midnight Hour in Detroit! For the sake of being nice, I don’t have much more to say about this, although it is better than most of the independent horror films I have been watching. But oh,some bad acting in there.
1:23
2 out of 5 creepy clowns

Scary or Die
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown
I was a little irritated at this for using a clown on the poster, implying a lot of clown action in this anthology. Fortunately there was one story where this poor guy is bit by the kid’s party clown from hell with Tim Curry “It” teeth,and he transforms into a sort of zombie clown, including going from African-American to his skin turning into the color of greasepaint. Dig that white afro. The other stories were pretty good, especially “Taejung’s Lament” with a good mix of horror in this five story antho.
1:34
3.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Wednesday Total: 18 points

 

Thursday

Silver Bullet
2 points
No bonuses
We’re approaching the full moon, so I start getting antsy for werewolf movies. Busey. Haim. Stephen King. Werewolf priests. How can you go wrong?
1:35
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Lord of Illusions
2 points
No bonuses
One of my favorite movies of all time, and a tragically underrated one by Clive Barker. Interesting note: Barker did a short monologue on a Criss Angel song before he became famous.Lord of Illusions is about an illusionist pretending to be fake when he is real. Is life imitating art? You decide.
1:35
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Evil Dead
3 points
Bruce Campbell wildcard
Even without the wildcard, this is mandatory every Halloween season. I normally like my horror straight up horror with little or no humor, but Bruce Campbell always delivers exceptions to the rule. I favor this one over ED2.
1:49
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Evil Dead 2
3 points
Bruce Campbell wildcard
Where the original had soem genuinely creepy things mixed into the humor (cellar girl, “we’re gonna get you…”) this is just straight up slapstick comedy. But it’s not a bad thing. Bruce Campbell is still a silver fox, but damn, he was smokin’ back then.
1:24
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

 

Thursday Total: 10 points

 

Friday

Supernatural S12 E1
1 point
No bonuses
Yeah, I know this show jumped the shark a long time ago, but I love the characters and J2. Sue me. Mama Winchester has been resurrected and Cass is kicking ass. Crowley remains Crowley ( I always get Ozzy Osbourne in my head when he is on screen… “Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?…”
1:00
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Viewing party

The Houses That October Built
(6 points)
ATB for homicidal clown
Annoying character you sort of root for to die right away,and that “twist” ending that they hunters were the hunted was so obvious to us, as it should have been to them when creepy doll girl showed up the second time. DUH. However, the ending has some good scares, imagining yourself in that situation, and particularly bad for claustrophobics. And I love getting a glimpse into Halloween haunts.
1:31
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Mockingbird
(6 points)
ATB for homicidal clown
I was like “Oh God, another found footage movie,” but Leonard fucking rocks. That’s all you need to know.
1:21
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Stitches
(6 points)
ATB for homicidal clown
More douchebag kids who deserve to die. Very reminiscent of We All Scream for Ice Cream with the fatal clown accident, then return from the dead for revenge. The egg tradition was interesting — didn’t know that about “copyrighting” their face designs on ceramic eggs.
1:26
2 out of 5 creepy clowns

Triple Play Viewing party Bonus: 25 points

Friday total: 26 points

 

Saturday

Secrets of the Clown
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown
We just go right to big, fake boobies, don’t we? He’s a sleazy looking guy wearing a necklace. Kill them already. Yes! Homicidal clown for the ATB! Psychic goth girl picks up on clown killer.¬† Uh-oh, something up with that clown doll. Jesus, I know it’s low bduget, but that doesn’t have to mean stupid… love the microscope in the hospital room. Clown doll in a microwave? Bad dialogue, bad acting,bad set dressing. Bad, bad, bad.
1:41
1 out of 5 creepy clowns

Fear of Clowns 2
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown
Jesus, amateur hour again. Can someone instruct budding horror filmmakers about the concept of LIGHTING. Colourophobia reference, Monica Lewinsky moderating press conference. There are some seriously scary clown makeups here. How is someone’s car on fire funny? I knew he helped them find her. What a dick.
1:47
2 out of 5 creepy clowns

Exorcist III
2 points
No bonuses
No clowns, just wanted a creepy movie. George C. Scott is so oevr the top, but love so many creepy things about this movie. The kill methods, the religous imagery, the dream sequence withteh angel swing band… and those scary big shears.
1:50
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Forest
2 points
No bonuses
I hate it when people do stupid shit, and they deserve what they get when they do. A) twin sister going into suicide forest (which is a  real thing) B) protagonist sister being stubborn and insisting on staying when they could have easily come back the next morning with the guide  C) following the girl who is obviously a ghost and D) leaving the fucking campsite. This is another idea I am pissed someone did because I saw a documentary on this forest and wated to write something about it. Fucker.
1:33
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Saturday Total: 16 points

 

Weekly Point Total: 119 points

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THE MADNESS: CIRCUS Week 1!

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Outside Events

Attended Scarefest in Lexington KY for Friday and Saturday. – 2 points

The Head Hauntress had a hard time accessing the event website to create personal challenges as it was overloaded, but per the FB group post, this video of Gwar saying “Enjoy the Madness” is at least 20 points –¬† 20 points

Circus envy video – did you tell me 10 points for this? Can’t find where I asked.

31 panel with discussions of killer clowns – 10 points?

Celebrity Ghost Hunt with Chip Coffey and Ghost Hunt Weekends crew – We investigated the James Pepper Distillery which is being renovated, and were the first group to ever get access to the site. We were divided into three groups, and two different groups made contact with a “Bob” through a spirit box. Our group also had a strange thermal image on a brick wall, plus we kept getting pleas for help from someone named “Ethel.” 2 points

Up to 54 points pending The Hauntresses ruling on the videos given she could not access the Scarefest site prior to teh event to issue personal challenges in advance

Secret Bonuses This Week (Summaries Below)

Here’s¬† a summary of what I think may be the secret bonuses for quick scanning. These are my guesses that I watched this week, as there are multiple options for some.

10 POINTS
1920 ‚Äď Dark Carnival – The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
1982 ‚Äď Scary Clown Doll – Poltergeist. Duh.
1983 ‚Äď Dark Carnival – Something Wicked This Way Comes
1990 ‚Äď Traveling Circus – The Rainbow Thief
1992 ‚Äď Rockband Clowns – Bad Channels
1997 ‚Äď Demonic Clown – Spawn
2007 ‚Äď Back for Revenge Clown – We All Scream for Ice Cream, (100 Tears, Dead Silence)
2007 ‚Äď Serial Killer Clown – Drive Thru, (Fraternity Massacre at Hell Island)
2009 ‚Äď Scary Clown Doll – The Hole
2010 ‚Äď Happy vs Sad Clown – The Last Circus

15 POINTS
1980 ‚Äď Rockband Clowns – Terror on Tour
1987 ‚Äď Happy but Scary Singing Clown – Blood Harvest
2003 ‚Äď Clown as Profession (Documentary) – Capturing the Friedmans

20 POINTS (NON HORROR but ACCEPTED GENRE)
2010 ‚Äď Clown Gang STILL NO FUCKING CLUE

Maximum of 145 points

________________________________________

Sunday

House of 1000 Corpses
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown, you middle class, Malibu Barbie pieces of shit.
I know this is one of those movies people love or hate. I happen to love it. Derivative? One man’s “derivative” is another’s “homage.” It takes me back to a lot of old horror films I love, even if Rob Zombie tried to pack too many ideas into one film. You have to give props to a film with Karen Black, Walt Goggins, Chris Hardwick and a soundtrack that includes Buck Owens.
1:45
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Amusement
6 points
ATB for homicidal clown/attack by a clown “doll.”
Not just creepy clown dolls, including a life size one, but a creepy laugh. Nice twists and turns that I missed the first time around, although they seem quite obvious now when watching.
1:25
3.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Poltergeist
6 or 10 points for secret bonus
ATB for attacking clown doll
I hadn’t seen this movie in a long time, and while some of it stands the test of time well, but that scene where the invesigator looks in the bedroom for the first time is just ridiculous, as is a steak sliding across the counter. Also, JoBeth WIlliam’s joy at living in a house where chairs and children slide across the floor. Hint: That’s where you are supposed to get the hell out, not after Satan drags your child off to another dimension. There’s a “life hack” for you.
1:54
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
6 or 10 points if secret bonus
ATB for homicidal clown/mime
Oh how I wish I had kept up my German. Classic surreall set design and creepy killer.
1:07
4.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Halloween Wars
4 points per Hauntress challenge
Elvira is back like every season to judge edible Halloween scenes. The short challenge involved evil selfies, and then the big witch and warlock face off. Team Sugar Psychoes took both and are off to a strong start. 1:00
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

It
9 points
ATB for homicidal clown
What is that crazy thing Tim Curry does when he talks, the way he curls his lips, that is so creepy? Classic Stephen King miniseries and the creepiest clown ever, quite possibly. Yet another unnecessary remake of a classic. We ALL float down here…
3:07
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Monday

Something Wicked this Way Comes
6 or 10 points if secret bonus
Secret bonus or ATB for Dark Carnival collecting souls
This may very well be the ultimate dark carnival movie: a very creepy (and spidery) fortuneteller; a dignified dealmaking devil; and Jason Robards for the win. I hate spiders, so anyone who has seen this knows there is a particularly bad scene in this one for arachnaphobes. I did find it odd When Mr. Dark (Jonathan Pryce) asked Jason Robards where the boys were. You can make people young again but you can’t find the boys yourself through telepahy or something?
1:35
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Spawn
3 or 10 points for secret bonus
Wild Card John Leguizamo
Oh HELL no,he did not just eat that piece of pizza with live maggots on it. John Leguizamo is insane in real life as well as his portrayal; of the demented clown in Spawn. This movie is so sad for poor Spawn, but so deliciously full of evil fun with Leguizamo.
1:36
3.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Terror on Tour
6 or 10 points if secret bonus
Secret bonus or ATB for homicidal clown and multiple instances of sex with clowns
Dear God, I know this was supposed to be a riff on Kiss, but who came up with that makeup? And who choose those afros? Those mime leotards? PS. We can tell you totally ripped off the riff from AC/DC’s “Let There Be Rock.”
1:27
2 out of 5 creepy clowns for so bad it’s good factor

The Last Circus
6 or 10 points if secret bonus
Secret bonus or ATB for homicidal clown
Sweet baby, Jesus, I wanted to like this, but for the love of god that narrator never SHUT UP. I don’t mind foreign films and subtitles, but the Spanish chatter was non stop, even when characters weren’t saying anything and it continued well into credits. SHUT UP for chrissakes. Which is shame because as annoyed with it as I was, I could see some great filmmaking, and loved the last scene. In hindsight, I should have just turned the sound off because I think it would have worked just fine on subtitiles and performances alone. Bizarre love triangle between an acrobat, and her abusive “happy” clown husband, and “sad clown” nice boyfriend. Ultimately, they destroy her with their fighting.
2:05
2 out of 5 creepy clowns due to non stop chatter

The Rainbow Thief
2 or 10 points if secret bonus

Secret bonus or Wild Card ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY
I freely admit Emily tipped me off to this one when she saw the wild card list. And she had it on her Plex. I had never heard of it, which is amazing witgh Christopher Lee, who plays an eecentric old rich man. Dalmatians at the table eating caviar and humans being fed big bones, and a harem of scantily clad females in a rainbow of colors fawning over him as he rides his saddle scooter that serves as his wheelchair. Plus Peter O’Toole and Omar Shariff. PS. When you shock someone in cardiac arrest, if you are touching the bed you get shocked too. That’s why we say “CLEAR!” And chicks dig Christopher Lee
1:29

4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Ash Vs Evil Dead Weekly challenge 201
6 points for special challenge
I know it’s the same schtick as from last season, but for some reason I found this funnier than usual. Ash better be careful sidling up to Lucy Lawless, even if she is a hot MILF.
.5
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Tuesday

Dead Silence
6 points or 10 for secret bonus
ATB for attacking clown doll or secret bonus
A lot of people don’t like this movie but I think it is creepy as hell. Donnie Wahlberg is over the top at being over the top, but I can forgive that. I love creepy dolls, even if I missed that madness.
1:29
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Hole
6 points or 10 for secret bonus
ATB for clown doll attack-or secret bonus
I hadn’t seen this till last year’s madness, but that creepy jester mad a lasting impression on me. Nice cameo with Bruce Dern, who is awesome.
1:32
3.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

100 Tears
6 points or 10 points for secret bonus
ATB for homicidal clown or secret bonus
The opening credits were promising, then it went straight to hell, and not in a good way. Poor lighting, sound, writing and acting. No suspense, backstory etc, just jumps right in. When the best part of your movie is using Voltaire’s “When You’re Evil,” you have a problem
1:30
1 out of 5 creepy clowns

Drive Thru
6 or 10 points if secret bonus
ATB for homicidal clown or secret bonus
“Fast food kills, fuckers!” Indeed. This is a scary clown makeup, and this is how you do cheeky horror satire. Awesome cameo by Morgan Spurlock as a fast food joint manager. (“Super Size Me” dude)
1:23
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Batman Returns
6 points
ATB for homicidal clowns
I only watched this because I was hoping there was a rock band clown scene in here as I hadn’t found it yet. I really can’t stand Michael Keaton as Batman, although I love Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and Danny DeVito as The Penguin.
2:06
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Clown Town
12 points
Special double bonus this week
What’s worse than a killer clown? Why, a whole gang of killer clowns. Especially really scary ones as these are. I suspect the “based on real events” element is mighty slim here. Or hope so.
1:26
4 out of 5 creepy clowns

Wednesday

Bad Channels
2 points or 10 for secret bonus
I never thought I would find that damn 1992 rock band clowns movie. Emily was vexed too, till I finally saw this rock themed movie and thought, there has to be a clown band in there somewhere. And there was. Martha Quinn of MTV VJ fame as an intrepid reporter who stumbles on a radio stationn taken over by aliens kidnapping and minaturizing women. Yeah.
1:28
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Blood Harvest
3 points or 10 for secret bonus
Wild Card Tiny Tim or secret bonus, although I’m not sure how “happy” he is while being scary
Just weird Tiny Tim vehicle that feels more 70s than 1987. I figured out the end long before the end. Loads of gratuitous nudity, including some full frontal. Normally i woudl complain about the alck of equal male:female nudity, but given this stars Tiny Tim that is probably a good thing.
1:28
2 out of 5 creepy clowns

AHS: Roanoke E3 and E4
2 points total
Had to catch up on this series, which is a far cry from the over the top Hotel and Freakshow. I’m keeping an open mind, but it is a bit slow, and the real life vs re enactments a bit gimmicky. Just tell the story.
2:00
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Crow
6 points
ATB for homicidal mime
I know this doesn’t need a remake, but I love Jason Momoa, so I am keeping an open mind. He has beena fan of the movie and is relaly into it, and if you have seen Road to Paloma, you¬† can see he may be able to pull this off. He can do more than muscle men and super heroes. But nothing and no one will ever replace Brandon Lee, RIP.
1:42
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Crow: City of Angels
6 points
ATB for homocidal mime
Not quite as successful as the original, but still great eye candy with a darker fetish-y theme. And oh, how Iggy Pop shines here!
1:24
3 out of 5 creepy clowns

Thursday

Clownhouse
6 points
ATB for homicidal clowns
I freakin’ LOVE this movie! it’s a shame the director got caught up in some pedo controversy, and the film was buried. Three lunatics escape from the asylum and disguise themselves as clowns, terrorizing this poor kid who was already afraid of clowns. That’s gonna be a huge therapy bill!
1:21
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

The Funhouse
6 points
ATB for Dark carnival ride
Now this is a classic. Tobe Hooper has some stupid kids decide to spend the night in the funhouse, only to discover some sociopathic owners and a disfured freak in real life. Can’t help but think Tiny in House of 1000 Corpses was influenced by this. We know Rob Zombie loves those vintage horror films.
1:36
5 out of 5 creepy clowns

Capturing the Friedmans
10 points for secret bonus (pretty sure this is right for documentary)
Documentary about a teacher andsometime clown performer arrested for child pornography, as well as one of his sons. The documentary features footage of the ordeal shot by the family as well as new footage that calls into question whether these men actually molested anyone. (The father admitted to being a pedophile and having child pornography but supposedly plead guilty to save his son with a plea deal.) As it turned out, the son served time as well. And that poor wife/mother as the outcast in her own home with her husband and three boys who bonded and made their own clique. Very sad.
1:47
4.5 out of 5 creepy clowns

We All Scream for Ice Cream
3 or 10 points for secret bonus
ATB for homicidal clown
What happens when voodoo meets ice cream trucks vendors from beyond. Tasty treats that leave their targets in a melty gooey mess.Kind of silly, but fun.
57 minutes
3.5 out of 5 stars

Fraternity Massacre at Hell Island
6 points or 10 for secret bonus
ATB for homicidal cown or secret bonus
Dear lord, I can’t say I have ever seen anything quite like this. I knwo it wasn’t meant ot be taken seriously, but isi ti really the good kind of bad. Not really. Except I love how the homicidal clown dances over dead bodies. That bit is a keeper.
1:20
2 out of 5 creepy clowns

93 points if secret bonus guesses are correct (I didn’t count my first guesses in this total, but everything else)

max possible: 54 + 145 + 93 = 292

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The Madness Final Descent Into Darkness! Week 4

suspiria 800

So, I started this last week of The Madness¬†as the “dark horse” so to speak, no pun intended, in third place with 515 points + 20 early bird = 535. Ravyn was in second with 546 + 40 early bird + 25 handicap = 611, and Newt in first with 579 +40 early bird = 619. So that was 76 points to make up for 2nd place and 84 points to make up for 1st. Seems impossible, doesn’t it? Don’t be too sure…

TV

Walking Dead – 60 minutes (no bonus) 1 point: Is he or isn’t he dead? I say no, since he wasn’t on Talking Dead and it’s ambiguous. But it’s¬†cheap. Not cool, Kirkman, not cool. 2 stars

Talking Dead – 60 minutes (no bonus) 1 point: Whatever. Still pissed about them toying with us including Gimple’s “statement” but how much it hurts them too. There is a limit to how much you can manipulate something without pissing fans off. You found and surpassed it, because there is no way Glenn could have survived. After they ate through Nicholas they would have gone through him too. 2 stars

Face Off Season Finale Part 2- 60 minutes (no bonus) 1 point: I totally knew Nora would win. Her shit was together before and on set, so much more than everyone. 3.5 stars

Inkmaster Halloween Tattoo special – 60 minutes (no bonus) 1 point: God, dealing with watching St Marq again should be worth extra points. What a douche. The guy with the mohawk never had a chance, it was Clean (?) all the way. The Cheech and Chong costumes were funny but Dave Navarro should have worked a little harder. 3 stars

American Horror Story: Hotel “Mommy”¬†¬†– 69 minutes making it technically a feature. I totally missed that the rest of the Madness (vampires)¬†3 points: Love the idea of bringing in the Richard Ramirez thing in homage to the real hotel that inspired this, but that’s about the only thing good I can say. And the makeup job on Lily Rabe was so good I didn’t recognize her at first. Oh how you torment me Ryan Murphy with your flashes of brilliance, then your misguided need to go campy ¬†and overkill everything. STOP that please, except when it is appropriate, like that one dance number in Asylum. 2 stars

Supernatural “The Bad Seed” – 60 minutes (nemesis is The Darkness) 2 points: I love Rowena… “It’s the MEGA ¬†coven!” They just aren’t feeling it, sister. 3¬†stars

Supernatural ¬†“Baby”¬†– ¬†60 minutes ¬†(nemesis is The Darkness., werewolf/vampire hybrid) 3¬†points:¬†Kind of dialogue heavy this episode. At first I was afraid they were going to “kill” off Baby in this episode, which would have pissed me off royally. Dean’s car is as much a character as anyone in this series. I’m referring to my big laptop as Baby now. 3 stars

It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown – 30 minutes 0.5 points: Caught this flipping through the channels. A classic. 5 stars

Halloween Wars finale with Elvira – 60 minutes (Elvira bonus) 2 points:¬†Oh man, that zombie party could have won if they had laid it out better without so much dead space, no pun intended. One of the masquerading zombies was sort of hidden behind another. They should have had the table going straight back and two zombie masqueraders on each side. So close… 3.5 stars

Ash vs. Evil Dead premiere  6 points: Now Bruce Campbell knows how to do campy, and this is awesome! Love his realness (and his humor about it) and not some buffed guy, and his two average sidekicks. Thank goodness I have Starz. 4.5 stars

Ghost Adventures¬†“Deadwood” – 120 minutes feature (ATB willingly going into basement counts right? night vision) – 6 points: I got suckered into this 2 hour Halloween special from Deadwood. Sometimes Zak is such a douche, but sometimes I’m not entirely sure. Or at least he has moments when he isn’t a douche. I actually thought it was a fairly good episode, but would have been improved if they brought in Tim Olyphant to reprise his role as Seth Bullock. Anything is better with Oly. I intend to binge Justified once¬†The Madness is over. 4 stars

Ghost Adventures “Island of the Dolls” – 60 minutes (Night vision) 2 points I was trying to find episodes that went into caves or basements for more bonuses but watching Zak whimper like a little girl over creepy dolls was worth it. What an idiot. Rating based on entertainment value rather than quality of investigation. 4 stars

Ghost Adventures “Bell Witch Cave” – 60 minutes (night vision, cave) 3 points – This was pretty creepy actually, at the beginning talking about the old legend, but descended into melodrama. I do not trust some of their so-called technology. 3 stars

31.5 points

Dark Father, Moses Rising challenge

Last week I watched the prequels (VOMIT) and the original IV, plus the special edition of IV, V and VI, the holiday special and Attack the Block.

Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back original (ATB Star Wars) 6 points: There’s a little difference in the special effects between the original and the special editions, but not much. All of the original trilogy are awesome. 5 stars

Star Wars The Return of the Jedi original (ATB Star Wars) 6 points: I really already talked about this last week. 4.5 stars

Uncut Fan film 1 (ATB Star Wars) 6 points: A New Hope… hands down the best sequence were the ones not trying to impress George Lucas and trying to be all professional and shit. 3 stars

Uncut fan film 2 (ATB Star Wars) 6 points: Empire Strikes Back¬†¬†I actually made notes about some of the segments somewhere, but can’t find them. I am so sick of Star Wars, I MAY be ready for the new one this Xmas. Maybe. 3 stars

And at the last minute, literally, did my sing along theme right before sunrise, as I almost forgot about it. It’s posted on the Facebook page where it will eventually fade into oblivion, rather than posted here for eternity. Fortunately, my favorite part of the theme is that melancholy “call to the hero’s adventure” thing where Luke is being all emo, because it’s very short. What’s really scary is the video posted was about my fifth try and the best of the lot. Note to self: don’t try to sing the quiet parts quietly unless you can actually sing. -5 stars, 10¬†points

34 points, plus whatever bonus points we get for doing the whole thingy…

Movies

LOTR trilogy: Quite frankly, I’m surprised these films didn’t come up more on peoples’ lists because the major points for these came up in a discussion before the Madness started. I had been meaning to watch them but simply didn’t get around to it until week 4. I was going to watch them before starting the Star Wars challenge when I realized most seemed to have forgotten them and it was good game to wait till the last week and not remind everyone.

The Lord of the Rings Р177 minutes (ATB Dark Lord Saruman) 9 points: Amazing opening film of the trilogy. A little slow in places while building characters, but really impeccable. And I was so excited to see Christopher Lee again. 5 stars

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – 179 minutes (ATB Dark Lord Saruman) 9 points: In some ways I love the second installment of trilogies best because of that whole “dark night of the soul” thing and that certainly applies here, with epic fucking battle scenes to boot. 5 stars

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 201 freakin’ minutes (ATB Dark Lord Saruman)¬† 10.5 points: I have to say this was my least favorite film of the trilogy and I always hate the¬†sappy celebration ceremonial scenes in theses epic adventures. Too Hollywood. 4.5 stars

John Carpenter’s Vampires – 108 minutes (ATB: death by sunlight) 6 points: This reminded me very much of From Dusk till Dawn 2 for the camp factor, but James Woods trumps the Terminator guy for the win. ¬†And it’s John Carpenter, yo. 3.5 stars

night breed

Night Breed¬† director’s cut- 120 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: Clive Barker always embraces the outsiders on the fringe and this dark underworld he created in Midian is populated with all kinds of fantastic creatures, and David Cronenberg puts in a chilling performance. 4.5 stars

The Beyond – 87¬†minutes (ATB hellmouth) 6 points: If you ever inherit and old hotel in Louisiana — or anywhere — make sure it isn’t built on the gateway to hell, ‘kay? Very gory, and is it me or does Fulci really like to mutilate eyes? 3.5 stars

Frankensteins Castle of Freaks with Elvira – 102 minutes (ATB for finale in cave and Elvira clause) 9 points: If Elvira is hosting it, you know it isn’t exactly Oscar worthy. 2 stars

Dog Soldiers Р105 minutes (werewolves) 3 points: This little sleeper is a great werewolf movie, which is so hard to do, especially low budget. They wisely kept the bodies human and put really scary wolf heads on them, giving them a new look but also simplifying the special effects. Very well done. 4 stars

Silver Bullet¬†–¬†95 minutes (werewolf)¬†3 points: Stephen King. Gary Busey. Corey Haim. What can possibly go wrong? At least with Busey and Corey before they went to shit.¬†5 stars

Wolfman – 103 minutes (werewolves)¬†¬†3 points: Lots of hardcore horror fans complained about this “remake” which really isn’t a remake but a film in its own right. I personally really love this film, although Anthony Hopkins is a little over the top. Benecio is perfect though. 4.5 stars

Full Eclipse – 93¬†minutes (werewolf, eclipse) 4 points: Pretty good TV movie with Patsy Kensit, Mario Van Peebles and¬†Bruce Payne¬†who plays the leader of a pack of vigilante cops turned werewolf-like¬†humans. They inject themselves with a serum so they don’t have to wait for the full moon but little do they know its brain fluid from their leader, who is the real thing during the eclipse. “This is your brain, this is you on my brain.” Yeah.¬† 4 stars

3 Tunnels 2 Hell – 85 minutes (ATB finale in underground tunnel system) 6 points: An island they have to turn into a horse camp so the owner can keep the property, but there are underground tunnels with a maniac. you want to hurry up and die. Loathsome characters you wish would hurry up and die already. Bad acting, bad script, bad directing… they actually showed a horse taking a dump for a joke. 0 stars

Beth(Alex Reid), Holly (Nora Jane Noon) and Sarah (Shauna Macdonald)

The Descent – 99¬†minutes (ATB finale in cave) 6 points: Very scary cave film, even if you aren’t claustrophobic or afraid of the dark. 4 stars

The Descent 2 Р93 minutes (ATB finale in cave) 6 points: Wait, this chick is really going back in the mine, even though she claims she remembers nothing? And they are taking an elevator down rather than going to the entrance used by the women? That ending was so cruel. 3.5 stars

The Cave – 97¬†minutes (ATB finale in cave) 6 points: In the description they mention these guys from Pitch Black, Coyote Ugly and The Brothers and no mention of Cersei? C’mon. The Descent meets Alien. 3.5 stars

Interview with a Vampire – 123¬†minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: I loathe Tom Cruise and even though this wasn’t as bad as expected, I still wish they had cast someone else. Brad Pitt is perfect as Louis, and it’s a pretty good film. But did I mention I HATE Tom Cruise? 3.5 stars

Fright Night 2¬†2013 – 100 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: Pfft. I didn’t even like the original sequel so much so the remake of a sequel… nah. 2 stars

evil dead ash

Evil Dead Р85 minutes (Bruce Campbell but no bonus) 2 points: One of those low point movies but how can you not watch, especially when they play these right before the Ash vs Evil Dead premiere. I may be in the minority, but this is my favorite. 5 stars

Evil Dead 2 – 84 minutes¬†2 points: Sam and Bruce cranked up the intentional humor in this one, and it’s a lot of fun, but I still like the first better. But hey, it’s GROOVY. . 4 stars

Army of Darkness – 81 minutes (dropped in pit, darkness in title)¬†4¬†points I missed the viewing party but caught this on Starz before the Ash vs Evil Dead premiere. This seems to be everyone’s favorite, but I would rate this last of the trilogy. I’m in the minority.4.5 stars

Graveyard Shift¬†– 80 minutes (ATB, willingly goes into basement)¬†6 points:¬†If you are cruel to animals — even rats — you’ll get what you deserve in this movie inspired by a Stephen King tale. Some poor drifter gets like, the worst job in the world andgets trapped with a monster and the co-workers from hell ¬†3 stars

Jeepers Creepers Р90 minutes (ATB finale underground) 6 points: Eh, okay movie. Honestly, I watched it because I saw the Hauntress label it as ATB somewhere, for finale. The sniffing thing is pretty creepy and that noise it makes when it finds something it likes. 2.5 stars

Blair Witch Project Р81 minutes (ATB willingly go into basement) 6 points: This is a great slow burn film that gets under your skin, and I can forgive it for the onslaught of bad found footage movies since. Still very unnerving, and it was a long time before I could go hiking by myself after this one. 5 stars

House of 1000 Corpses ¬†– ¬†89 minutes (ATB finale in underground tunnels)¬†6 points: This used to be my go to movie when I wanted something fun and mindless to¬†watch, but hadn’t seen it in quite some time. Love Chris Hardwick and Walt Goggins’ small role. I love a lot of things about this movie, but Zombie tried to throw in too many things in the second half. Is it homage or rip off? I say homage, and fall on the love it side of this one, which seems to¬†be love it or hate it. 4 stars

976-Evil – 92¬†minutes (ATB Englund character is “Master of the Dark”) 6 points: ¬†I LOVE this movie, and its one of my go to movies now for the nostalgia and old school horror. I love how Robert Englund scattered so many devil references throughout as director and the voice on the phone. Heavy handed but fun. Sandy Dennis was brilliant as the holier than thou mother, and of course “Evil” was perfect for this one. 5 stars

Halloween – 91¬†minutes (no bonuses) 2 points: I hated doing a 2 point movie, but I had to do Halloween on Halloween. If I can’t win with this one, I don’t want to win. And none of that Rob Zombie shit. 5 stars

Suspiria – 92 minutes (witches attack at night, blind character) 4 points: My favorite Argento film of all time. Deliciously beautiful AND gory. And scary as hell. 5 points

My Bloody Valentine 2009 Р101 minutes (ATB finale in mine) 6 points: I saw this film posted on the Madness page and totally forgot about the mine factor.  Normally I would prefer the original, but hello Dean Winchester! definitely tongue in cheek remake but without going overboard on humor. 3.5 stars

154.5 points

Special Bonuses

mammoth cave

Seasonal walk throughs Р3 total: Quarantine, Hospital and Haunted House/Carnival themes at Wicked World Scaregrounds 6 points 3 stars, 3 stars and 4 stars 

C’mon, y’all didn’t really think I’d pass up that Mammoth Cave bonus when its like, 2 hours from me, right? Plus it was my only way to have a shot at winning because I knew I could never catch up with Ravyn and Newt on watching points alone, especially once the secret bonuses were gone. So it comes down to special bonuses — if they have some, I’m screwed most likely, and if they don’t, I can take this. I really had told myself after last week winning one week was good enough and was thinking of blowing it off, but Emily convinced me to go, so if this gives me the win, it’s a collaborative effort in that sense.

Having said that, it was well worth it, The Madness aside, and I’m happy to say I had no claustrophobia freakouts, even on the tour that was lantern light only. So, yes, I did TWO tours. I wanted to go for three, but two of the tours I felt I could handle weren’t offered that day because of work being done on one and the other only being offered weekends, or I would have broken the overall points record. I guess it just wasn’t mean to be. But anyway…200 effin’ points + 2 for mileage (mileage is only one way? If not, then 4 points for 2 hours each way)

208 Points

31.5 (TV) + 34 (Dark Father/Star Wars)  + 154.5 (movies) + 208 (Special bonuses) = 428 + 515 (previous total) + 20 (early bird) = 963 + special bonus for doing ALL Star Wars (including video)

Read it and weep, or if you other two did any special bonuses, read it and laugh at my feeble attempt to take it all. Time will tell.

The Madness – Darkness: Week 3

the-lost-boys-original-800

If I had a weak week last week for The Madness, I sure made up for it this week, being off work and all. I went for the bigger point items, going for those 4-6 pointers and some super bonus Elvira. I focused a lot on vampires, hoping to hit lots of ATB “death by sunlight” points, but damn if I could remember how vampires died in a lot of older films… stake or sunlight? So it was hit and miss.

I really never want to see another vampire movie as long as I live. But this was my big play to try to win one week before I get back to work next week.

Secret Bonuses

Altitude – 90 minutes (Secret bonus 2010 fog/mist?,¬† Jessica Lowndes) 20 points or 3 points: A bunch of annoying young people run into The Mist in an airplane. Sure, they added a twist at the end, but not the best I’ve seen by a long shot. 2 stars

Nightfall – 83 minutes (Secret bonus 1988 descent into darkness? Sarah Douglas) 20 points or ATB 6 points for extended night at the end: I swear this must be the prequel for Pitch Black, telling the story of what happened to the people who had lived on that planet before Vin and Radha crashed there. The very BAD prequel. Apparently going from endless day to into an extended night of unknown duration takes you from kites and hippie free love to homicidal madness. 1 star

40 points if I got the bonuses

TV Shows

Walking Dead – 60 minutes 1 point: Whoa, just when you think this is going to be one of those slow episodes again, BAM! someone’s smoking a cigarette and one of the Wolves bashes their brains in. Is Carol the badass to end all badasses or what? 4.5 stars

Talking Dead – 60 minutes 1 point: It occurred to me this should count as it talks about the Walking Dead plus they had Kevin Smith this week with his infamous comparison of the episode to “oral that doesn’t stop after you’re done.” 4 stars

Face Off – 60 minutes 1 point: the finale has started and this was the first of two parts. I’m thinking Nora is going to come out on top, but the fact it looks like that could be deceptive editing. 3.5 stars

AHS: Hotel – 60 minutes (Vampires, secret rooms) 3 points: I don’t know, I wasn’t feeling it so much this week. This is how past seasons have gone — start with a really strong premiere then just go down the toilet. More Sarah Paulson please. And Denis O’Hare. 3 stars

Halloween Wars Р60 minutes  1 point: I always love these competitions, creating Halloween scenes with pumpkin carvers, candy makers and bakers. Amazing creations. 3.5 stars

Scream Queens – 60 minutes (there was another secret room/passage reveal this week) 2 points: Sweet homages this week to The Shining and if you were quick to catch it, an ode to the scariest moment in Exorcist III. 3.5 stars

9 points

Movies

Underworld: Evolution – 106 minutes (vampires/werewolves) 4 points: I admit the Underworld movies are played out, but I dig them. I love the aesthetic and Kate Beckinsdale, even if it’s taken directly from the artwork of Monolith Graphics. 3.5 stars

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans – 92 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: This one returns to the backstory between Lucien and Sonya, so I knew it would be an ATB. But it’s a slightly different spin on the series with the different time period. 4 stars

Blade II – 117 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points – Norman Reedus plays a Judas here, just like in that damn Lady Gaga video, but without the Gag Hag, as I call her. Bonus for Norman fans. Blade’s lady vampire friend has mad style., but too bad she had the brother from hell and had to do that whole suicide by sunlight thing. 4 stars

Fright Night – 106 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: One of my favorite vampire movies ever and one of my favorite vamps ever. You can bite me any day Chris Sarandon. 5 stars

Dark Places – 91 minutes (Dark in title, Christopher Lee, walled up people) 5 points: Older film where poor Christopher Lee stumbles on a mad man rehabbing an old house where there is hidden money. It doesn’t work out well for him. 2.5 stars

Tomb of the Blind Dead, Spanish version – 101 minutes (tombs, blind, vampiric Knights Templar zombies that attack at night) 5 points: Silly film where some dingbat jumps off a train in the middle of nowhere and goes camping in abandoned ruins by herself, making sure to change into her nightie and turn on her portable radio to give it that homey feel. And no one can escape from blind, slow, Knights Templar, zombie vampires. 1 star

Elvira Mistress of the Dark – 96 minutes (Elvira bonus, personification of dark ATB) 9 points: I get the whole schtick with Elvira, but the humor works best as brief commentary on horror films, not making her own full length film. But I seriously want her car. And that house. I could work that space y’all.¬† 2.5 stars

Elvira: Count Dracula’s Great Love – 97 minutes (Elvira bonus, ATB death by sunlight) 9 points: What is it with the telepathic voice most of the film from Count Dracula? He hardly ever moves his lips, which I suppose makes those foreign language dubs a lot easier.¬† And he commits hari-kari? I know it’s supposed to be bad, but wtf? 0 stars

Dracula AD 1972 –¬† 95 minutes (Christopher lee, vampires, fog/mist) 5 points: “Dig the music kids!!” while you resurrect Christopher Lee in this shagadelic feature with the fab Caroline Munro. Oh Christopher, really? 2 stars

Horror of Dracula – 82 minutes (Christopher Lee, vampires, ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: Sweet, SWEET move by Peter Cushing to tear down the drapes and destroy poor Dracula with sunlight, and get me my max points. 5 stars

Dracula: Prince of Darkness – 90 minutes (vampires, Christopher Lee, Darkness in name, personification of darkness ATB) 6 points: Christopher Lee is my all time favorite Dracula, and was my primary influence in a life long love and sympathy for the monster. He is why I always root for the vampire to win. 5 stars

Bram Stoker’s Dracula – 128 minutes (vampires, phantom mist) 4 points: I am so disappointed no death by sunlight, but Gary Oldman is definitely my second favorite vamp of all time. Pure gothic romance where even Keanu Reeves manages not to be too annoying. And a cameo by Tom Waits. 5 stars

Raw Meat – 87 minutes (London underground, Christopher Lee, power outage, secret room, ATB finale in transportation tunnel) 6 points: This must have been a film that influenced Creep, with a lunatic in the London Underground. I also noted in the credits a makeup artist named Peter Frampton. Do you suppose it was THAT Peter Frampton? Anyway, Christopher Lee verbally bitch slaps Donald Pleasance. 3 stars

Elvira: The Devil’s Wedding Night – 99 minutes (Elvira bonus, vampires, startled by bat, Shout Factory TV) 8 points? Boobs and blood sums this up. Lots of boobs and blood. Oh yes, there was something of a plot, sort of,¬† with vampires and a wedding ritual involving virgin sacrifice. Did I mention boobs and blood? 1.5 stars

Daybreakers — 98 minutes (ATB destroyed by sunlight) 6 points: I used to hate Ethan Hawke but warmed to him just a bit in this film, as well as Sinister. I can’t say I love him, but I love the style of this film, which has a very noir feel to it. And some scary vampire mutations. 4 stars

Lost Boys – 97 minutes (vampires, cave, startled by bats) 5 points: How can you not love this 80s classic? A Kiefer Sutherland motorcycle gang, a cool California boardwalk carnival, the two Coreys, Jason Patric and Dianne Wiest doing her ditzy thing she does so well. 5 stars

Fright Night 2011 – 106 minutes (ATB death by sunlight ) 6 points: Another of the useless remakes, but I suppose I must concede it could have been much worse. Colin Farrell is no Chris Sarandon, but I’d still hit it. 3 stars

Fright Night 2 – 104 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: Meh. Chris Sarandon’s vampire sister wants revenge. I just couldn’t get into it. The story was over guys. 2.5 stars

From Dusk til Dawn – 105 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: Greg Nicotero was pretty fucking hot back in the day, wasn’t he? Rockin’ a whole Gregg Allman thing. Anyway, great vampire flick from Rodriguez with a lot of Tarantino snark and humor. And Tom Savini for the win. Oh yeah, George Clooney, too. 5 stars

From Dusk till Dawn 2 – 87 minutes (Bruce Campbell? I had no idea, startled by bats, vampires… Ah, ATB for death by sunlight) 6 points: Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that Campbell cameo. Obviously I hadn’t seen this campy sequel before, and I mean campy even by the original’s standards. Right at the boundary of too much, but it works. 3 stars

Prince of Darkness (John Carpenter) — 102 minutes (ATB, antagonist embodiment of darkness and willingly enter hellmouth) 6 points: I love this film, from Donald Pleasance to Alice Cooper’s deranged homeless guy and that bike scene. 5 stars

Hellraiser Р94 minutes (ATB entering hellmouth) 6 points: The puzzle box is a gateway to hell, adn Frank does enter it willingly at the beginning, hence my ATB claim. I love, love, LOVE Clive Barker, and even though the acting is terrible here by the lead and the budget is low, meaning some cheesy effects, Pinhead was a whole new beast in the horror villain worked, and he stands up well to the test of time. But an even  more chilling one is Clare Higgins as Julia, working that high gothic femme fatale thing. 4.5 stars

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 – 97 minutes (ATB entering hellmouth) 6 points: Julia’s back and bitchier than ever. We get Pinhead’s back story, and why is everyone so anxious to visit hell? Clive’s pal Pete Atkins penned this sequel which worked out pretty well. Then the rest of the franchise pretty much went to hell, no pun intended, and in a bad way. 4 stars

Daughters of Darkness (Director’s Cut) — 99 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of darkness) 6 points: Lady Gaga seduces Ann Coulter and her boyfriend. The Hunger may be an influence on this season of AHS, but so is this. 3 stars

Nosferatu the Vampyre – 107 minutes (ATB death by sunlight) 6 points: Remake of the 1922 classic, which was one of the rare scary vampire approaches, influencing many other films such as Salem’s Lot and 30 Days of Night. 3.5 stars

Lord of Illusions: Directors Cut – 121 minutes (dropped into pit, buried, Shout Factory DVD) 5 points: I love this movie more every time I see it. I love the dark side of the magic world, and wonder if this was based on Criss Angel, who Clive knew before he was famous. Extra bonus for using Diamanda Galas for the score as the disciples sink into the mud and are buried. 5 stars

The Dead Zone – 103 minutes 2 points: Not really part of my plan to focus on big point movies this week, but it was on Syfy while I was multitasking a bunch of internet junk. Plus it’s a great movie. I was trying to remember if Christopher Walken’s multiple references to Sleepy Hollow in this movie were before or after Tim Burton’s film. But it was ironic either way. 4 stars

Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace:¬† 136 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark) 7.5 points: I had hoped that the passage of time might make me say “That wasn’t as bad as I remembered.” I hoped wrong. Still dumbfounded by the awfulness of Jar Jar Binks. I got the worst one over with first. 1 star (only for special effects)

Star Wars II Attack of the Clones – 134 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark) 6 points – Better than that goddawful Phantom Menace, which doesn’t say much except that it doesn’t make me want to beat George Lucas with a stick.¬† And Christopher Lee always elevates whatever he is in, but I hate that Count Dooku name. It sounds like a baby trying to pronounce Dracula or a nickname for poop. 2 stars

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith – 140 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark) 7.5 points – Okay, the most bearable of the prequels, this wasn’t too bad. And of course, we finally got to see the creation of the Darth Vader we all know and hate today. 3 stars

Star Wars IV special edition Р125 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark)  6 points: I vaguely remember seeing this in the theater when it came out, but I definitely remember the huge Star Wars mania after it came out. When I watched that trailer for The Force Awakens, I felt a huge surge of nostalgia, but this also reminded me that this really is one of the great spiritual stories of our times. Which is why the prequels piss me off so much. 5 stars

The Empire Strikes Back special edition – 127 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark) 6 points: Some people prefer this sequel over the first and sure, the effects were improved in the originals, but I still like the first the best. or in this case, IV. But of course, the classic “I am your father” revelation is pretty freakin’ awesome. 5 stars

Return of the Jedi special edition – 135 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark) 6 points: I could live without Jabba the Hut, but this did give us an iconic Halloween costume with Princess Leia in bondage. 4.5 points

Star Wars  IV original Р121 minutes (ATB antagonist personification of the dark) 6 points: Yeah, the special effects are kind of primitive in some places, and the special editions that reworked some of them improved the films. Sorry purists, but deal with it. 4.5 stars

Attack the Block – 73 minutes (ATB Star Wars challenge) 6 points: I couldn’t understand half of what they were saying with that thick cockney accent, but campy horror comedy where some south London wayward youth find themselves under attack by werewolf-like aliens. What? Just go with it. 3.5 stars

The Star Wars Holiday Special Р117 minutes (Star Wars ATB) 6 points: That wookie kid is freaking me out. And what is with all the psychadelic music and dance numbers?  Maude and Harvey Korman in the space bar, with Maude singing? I really needed to be in Colorado or Oregon to watch this, as the creators had to be high on something when they wrote it. 0 stars or 5 stars depending on how stoned you are.

224 points for movies

Total with secret bonuses would be 273