Clive Barker made an official announcement on his Facebook Friday night that his cult classic, “Nightbreed,” will get a DVD release of the “Cabal Cut” by Shout! Factory’s Scream Factory line.
Barker himself was harshly critical of the 1990 theatrical edit of the film and felt the studio completely mishandled the editing and marketing of the movie, which was a huge box-office and critical flop. The lost footage was found years later, but the studio had no interest in an extended release despite its rise to cult status. Then in 2012, Russell Cherrington, a senior lecturer in film and video production at the University of Derby, created a composite cut of the film using the footage found on both VHS tapes as well as the Warner Bros DVD. This version is the most complete version of Barker’s film available and has been dubbed The Cabal Cut, running 155 minutes long.
This isn’t the only time Barker’s work was misunderstood and mishandled by studio execs. “Lord of Illusions” suffered a similar fate of being over-edited, and critical failure. But the extended cut adds back much need elements to the story, and is one of the more disturbing horror films out there. Which, it should go without saying, is considered a compliment here.
It’s not so hard to figure out why the man stopped directing.
Barker is such a mad genius of dark fantasy, he’s beyond anything Hollywood could possibly ever grasp. And “Nightbreed” presents a shining example of a world created by Barker, full of creatures who form their own tribe as outcasts of humanity, or the Nightbreed.
No details on release date or extras, but Shout! Factory has quite a collection of special editions, including films like “Prince of Darkness,” “Terror Train,” and “The Funhouse.” Or, you could read the book “Cabal” while you wait for the “Nightbreed” release.
It’s raining sharks, hallelujah it’s raining sharks in “Sharknado.”
Is this Tara Reid’s comeback?
Syfy loves to do original movies, which I never seem to catch, but when I saw the movie trailer for Thursday’s “Sharknado,” I knew this was must-see-TV. Indeed, quite possibly the movie I had been waiting for all my life. And I wasn’t disappointed.
If you’re reading that and thinking, “Hey, that looks sort of like a cross between ‘shark’ and ‘tornado,'” why, yes, you’d be right. And yes, it really follows the premise of a tornado full of sharks terrorizing LA.
Abandon logic, all ye who read on.
I don’t want to spoil such an epic tale of humanity and the triumph of good over evil, as they will repeat this a million times, but let me fill you in a bit on what you missed. First, Ian Ziering, and the hallmark of any fine film, Tara Reid. Yeah, I know, let that powerhouse of acting talent sink in… you are so kicking yourself right now for missing it based on that alone, aren’t you?
But oh yes, there’s more: Biblical references, chainsaws and sharks, a Ferris wheel of death, and the worst CGI you’ll ever see, which was worth the price of admission alone. Which, of course, was zip. Bring it on, Syfy!
So, not to spoil it too much, here’s a list of things I learned about making a cool movie for Syfy of my own. And, indeed, life itself. The mandatory elements:
Include some kind of smarmy bad guy in the opening, even if it is about a natural disaster and he has nothing to do with it.
Give animals powers they never had before, like flying when they normally swim.
Girls in bikinis. You gotta have girls in bikinis or you lose the entire male audience.
Scan TMZ for casting ideas.
Find a guy that sort of reminds you of Gerard Butler, except older, uglier and has a day rate under $300.
Keep plenty of barstools around to use as weapons, and when you leave the bar, take the stool with you, just in case. It also make a poignant symbol of your sacrifice for the greater good.
Ferris wheels look fun, but they can crush a building like a twig.
Make sure to include such Jungian archetypes as The Dirty Old Man, The Bitchy Ex-Wife, The Ungrateful Emo Daughter, and the Douchebag Step Dad Who is Probably Banging Your Ungrateful Emo Daughter.
Sharks can burst through your windows, but you can crush them with a crappy IKEA bookcase.
Why is all the traffic in the background moving at normal speeds?
If filming in Hollywood, include at least one character who came there to be an actor, and kill him just when it looks like he’s safe. Golly, your audience will never see that coming.
If you live in a tornado zone, stock up on bombs for the next tornado season. And watch this movie as a reference.
If you make a movie with sharks, you must make a gratuitous “Jaws” reference somewhere, preferably something along the lines of “I think we’re going to need a bigger [INSERT NAME OF TRANSPORTATION HERE.]”
Make some reference to the Bible, like the whole Jonah-in-the-belly-of-the-whale thing, but put your own twist on it. Preferably involving power tools. Jesus wept, indeed.
Many answered questions remain though, like just how many sharks can a tornado hold? How can they hold more sharks that the ocean itself holds? Oh, how I’m tormented with such existential questions. If only Nietzsche were still alive to explain it all to us.
Dear Syfy executives — though I dare not hope I am worthy, I anxiously await your call to Hollywood to be a screenwriter for Syfy. I’m your number one fan.
Behold, the trailer for a work of art like no other, “Sharknado.”
Still from the upcoming horror film, “Rigor Mortis.”
What is it with Americans and their need to water down horror with so-called humor? Thank goodness the Japanese brought back creepy dread several years ago, infiltrating several American film studios as well, so we at least have something to look forward to besides idiotic college kids fucking and showing off their fake tits in the woods.
But then I suppose we taught them a few things about horror too, but let’s not get political.
Instead, let’s watch a cool movie trailer of the latest Japanese horror flick, “Rigor Mortis.” And not just Japanese horror, but Japanese vampires. Bring that shit on.
Those crazy creative folks behind “American Horror Story” released yet another second season teaser this week, using the recurring white nun character. This time, our favorite creepy nun is crowd surfing… at a rave.
Alrighty.
You certainly can’t fault this team for not being able to think out of the box. Original ideas, stunning and disturbing imagery, technical expertise — why are these guys doing TV and not motion pictures? Oh wait, they’re not doing remakes, so Hollywood has no place for them these days.
It’s a sad note in the film industry when you now have to go to TV to be an original.
Oh well, enough preaching to the choir, just check out the raving nun in the latest “American Horror Story: Asylum” teaser.
I admit I’m late to the party for “American Horror Story,” having watched it via Amazon instant video to catch up for the first season, but with a cast that includes a legend like Jessica Lange, you know even before you watch this, this is horror taken seriously.
Thank goodness.
This show is now classified as a mini-series, as each season will have a completely different story and characters. This season the series is set in an asylum.
FX has been releasing tons of eye candy for the upcoming second season in the form of teaser trailers, and this one is the “blue coat” teaser. Of course, you don’t get to see any of the stars in this upcoming series in the teaser, but that’s okay — the full dose will be coming soon enough, loaded with guest stars form Chloe Sevigny to Adam Levine to Kelly Ripa’s husband.
That last one is a little weird, but hey, this show is keeping half of Hollywood employed with their never ending list of guest stars. And check out this creepy teaser, one of many to come.
