ghost adventures paranormal

Nick, Zak and Aaron of Ghost Adventures, the silliest ghost hunters on TV

It’s Friday night, and you know what that means — or at least what it means when “Grimm” and “Supernatural” are on hiatus — we’re left with the Friday night paranormal drama queens on Travel Channel.

I know I shouldn’t watch “Ghost Adventures” and that douchebag Zak Bagans, yet somehow I just can’t seem to help myself. It’s sort of like what I went through a phase where I just couldn’t help but watch Jerry Springer. I knew it was wrong, but the horrific train wrecks unfolding before my eyes were just too compelling to say no to. It also served to boost my self-esteem when I was feeling down.

And that, my friends, sums up “Ghost Adventures.”

The movie “Grave Encounters” is a wonderful parody quite obviously based mostly on Bagans, with maybe a little Ryan Buell thrown in, but nothing compares to the real thing. From his fake bronzer suntan, to his forward sweeping hair, our buddy Zak is in a class all his own. He’s all buffed up, yet squeals like a little girl every time there’s a supposed ghost encounter. And let’s talk about their EVP’s. They seem to think that just by stating without question that some random sound is a particular word, they can convince the whole world of the same. And is there any “Supernatural” fan out there that can watch this show and not think, “Ghost Facers!”

Come on guys, confess — this is parody right? Please tell me it is?

As I’m writing this, our boy is having a discussion about how serious paranormal investigations are and not just something that you get into to freak yourself out. Yes, he really is. But apparently it is something you get into to land yourself a TV show and to become the poster boy for frumpy cougars who think they have a haunted house.

A little tip for you Zak — men’s hair should never, ever sweep forward. Never. Unless it is your intent to scream “I am a douchebag” to the entire world.

And then there’s our girl Amy on “The Dead Files.”

I have to admit, the first time I saw the show I thought it was kind of promising and it has its moments. But as I watched each episode, I started getting kind of skeptical and things seem to match up a little too perfectly sometimes, but maybe I’m just too cynical. It’s certainly dramatic. I mean, I know it’s TV, and they’re trying to put on a show, but “Ghost Hunters” has proven you don’t have to do that to be successful. Or if you’re going to resort to some drama, it really doesn’t have to be that over the top. Just a smattering of drama, ala “Paranormal State.”

Although come to think of it, I suppose if you don’t have psychic Chip Coffey on board, you do have to amp things up a bit in the “drama queenery” department. Just sayin’.

But you can always count on Amy to be entertaining and tonight our girl is is opening “Pandora’s Box” in an all new episode. The Zak attack is taking on Ashmore Estates and the Stanley Hotel, which you all know as the hotel in “The Shining.” So throw on some popcorn for some over the top, campy paranormal fun tonight.

Think of it as your very own episodes of “Ghost Facers,” “Supernatural” fans.